Tantei Trivia Season 3
by psychicfiredemoness
Summary: The gang's back for yet another season of torture, and this time round you, the audience get to vote for each guest to appear every episode! Please R
1. Chapter 1

Psychicfiredemoness: Okay after much consideration and threats that fell on deaf ears, we welcome you all to Season 3 of Tantei Trivia.

Hiei: Why are we still here!?

Alex: Will you shut the hell up!? Psychic owns nothing!

**Chapter 1**

"Welcome everyone to Season 3!" Alex declared.

"Why is she so perky?" Sapphire asked, "And what happened to Scorch?"

"Why are you asking me!?" Kayori yelled.

"I'm not perky! I'm content!" Alex snarled, "And due to complications on the behalf of our producer Scorch will no longer be appearing, seeing as that name was just my alias anyways I don't see a difference.

"I do," Sapphire remarked reading the list of cast members.

"Okay why are you 'content'?" Yusuke asked switching the subject.

"Cause I got a new weapon of semi-mass destruction!" Alex grinned and pulled out what seemed to be a very long handled tazer, "It's called an electric fishing gun. And now for the demonstration!" She used it to shock Kuwabara.

His head started lolling on his shoulders and Yusuke started cracking up.

"Now a word from our sponsors," Scorch stated and zapped Yusuke as well.

**5 minutes later**

Alex was looking at her watch.

"Psst! Alex! You're back on!" Camera man one whispered.

She looked up sweat dropping, "Oh! Okay! Well, uh yeah. Please welcome our contestants. And or welcome back our contestants!"

"You forgot about the new rules!!!" Kayori scolded.

"Oh! Okay the new thing is there are 8 contestants. Yusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, Yukina, Keiko, Botan, and a new contestant each episode which will be voted on by the audience. And the new contestants keep the same score so, say in the first episode the new contestant gets 15 points, then in the next episode the next new contestant gets to start with that amount of points. Ya get it?" she asked and crickets sounded, "I hate you all, excluding you two," she pointed at Kayori and Sapphire, "Most of the time anyways. Let the show begin. First question, pure alcohol freezes at what temperature? Yusuke?"

"Negative 125F," he said.

"5 points. How many gifts are there in the 12 days of Christmas? Kurama?"

"364," he replied.

"Correct. 5 points. How many letters are there in the Hawaiian alphabet? Yukina?"

"12"

"Correct. 5 points. U.S. chickens lay enough eggs each year to what? Kurama?"

"Circle the equator 10 times."

"Correct. 5 points. According to NASA it's nearly impossible to do what, at zero gravity? Yukina?"

"Shed tears."

"Correct. 5 points. What is an animal that lies a lot? Kuwabara?"

"Demons," Kuwabara glanced at Hiei as he said this.

Alex used the faithful little button on her panel on him, "Anyone else? Kurama?"

"Chimpanzees."

"10 points! But how do scientists know? Hiei?"

"They were taught sign language."

"5 points. What is a tri-clops? Yusuke?"

"You."

"You prick!" she jumped on him and started pounding him with her 2x4 and shocking him with the gun, "Anyone else wanna piss me off?"

"Oh! I do!" Sapphire raised her arm. Alex threw her shoe at her knocking her out for the remainder of the round.

"Anyone else know the answer? Kuwabara?"

"Hiei."

Scorch smacked her forehead and yelped slightly before sending volts of electricity threw the fox.

"Oh that was smart," Sapphire laughed.

Alex rubbed her forehead before continuing, "Anyone else? It's worth 15 points now? Botan?"

"It's one of those ugly little creatures, found in the Magmoor Caverns on the game Metroid Prime?"

"How in the hell did you know that? 15 points."

Everyone else stared at her.

"Alright that's just about all the time we have folks but before we go here are the possible contestants for next round: Chris or…you're frickin' kidding me, Temi. Those are the choices, please vote for who you think should appear next episode."

**End chapter**

Psychic: Yeah, I couldn't really resist torturing Alex a bit with her wayward fiancé.

Alex: That is _if _he gets voted in.

Psychic: Or if anyone votes... Now I'm sad.

Hiei: Get over it. And for the fools at home, send reviews.


	2. Chapter 2

Psychicfiredemoness: Hi people that are reading at this point in time.

Hiei: That made almost no sense onna.

Alex: So? She doesn't care.

Psychic: True. I own nothing.

**Chapter 2**

"Hi everyone and welcome back!" Alex greeted cheerfully.

"When do we get to leave this horrible place?" Hiei questioned behind his panelist board.

"When people stop telling the station to continue with it," Alex admitted.

"Can't you just get other contestants!?" Yusuke fumed.

"Speaking of which, welcome today's guest everyone! Chris!" Alex declared happily and the lightning demon came out from behind a mysterious door on stage.

He waved energetically to the crowd causing most of our heroes to sweat drop. He then spotted Kayori and jumped on her with a hug.

"And now a word from our sponsors," Alex sighed heavily.

**5 Minutes Later**

"Get off Kayori you obsessive freak!" Sapphire screamed as the other hanyou hugged to a support beam while Sapphire tried to pry Chris off her friend.

"Hey! We don't' have time for this!" Alex yelled walking over and shocking the boy, the current ran through him to both girls. "I didn't know I could do that," she stated looking at the weapon with surprise. She grinned sinisterly as a sparking Sapphire dragged him to his panel, Kayori's head lolling on her shoulders slightly.

"Okay!" Alex yelled trying to start the show before they all died of old age, "First off, the leader of last episode was the new contestant, which was Botan, with 15 points and second place Yukina with 10 points," She informed them all. "So back to business; the first question is, how much of what does it take to get a beaver drunk? Keiko?"

"One can of hard cider," she answered.

"Correct. How about an African elephant? Hiei?"

"480 pints of beer," he stated.

"…You know who know some odd things. Correct 5 points. What about for Yusuke?"

"Hey! Why you little-!" he started climbing over the panel get at her.

"Security!" Alex screamed and Sapphire ran over punching him. "Thank you Sapph. Well does anyone know the answer? Kurama?"

"1 gallon," he said.

"Oh, so close yet wrong!" She pressed the button and shocked him, "Kuwabara?"

"3 quarts?" he guessed.

"Wrong!" he was next to feel pain, "Chris?"

"Uh, 5 pints?" he asked timidly.

"Correct, I'm not asking why but correct, 15 points. Animal used to make soap? Yukina?"

"Fish," she replied.

"5 points."

"Ew! I'm never bathing again!" Kuwabara exclaimed in disgust.

"You do now?" Hiei questioned.

"You little shrimp!" Kuwabara yelled and grabbed the demon by his collar.

Alex stared on before sighing and shocked the two of them. "Next question! Something that can purr and is a member of the cat family? Kuwabara?"

"A kitty!" he said happily.

"You. Are. An. Idiot!" Alex cried and ran at him, holding the fishing gun on him full blast for at least ten seconds until he passed out.

"Okay since I killed one of the contestants, this is _probably_ one of the last questions. Well? Botan?" she said.

"Uh, a cougar?" she guessed.

"10 points. Two felines that can't? Hiei?"

"Lions and tigers."

"10 points for the double question. Well we have time for a couple more questions. Zucchini comes from the Italian word? Kurama?"

"It comes from Kurama?" Yusuke asked jokingly but got shocked for it.

"Fool," Hiei commented.

"It comes from the word 'sweetest'," Kurama answered.

"5 points. Wearing a tie in some parts of where can get you throw in jail? Keiko?"

"Iran."

"5 points. Well that's the end of the episode so please for once can you guys leave in an organized fashion so I don't have to set people of fire again," Alex smiled darkly.

The audience got up and made proper lines before hurrying from the building.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Sapphire asked.

"Like what?" Alex replied.

"Like who our next 'guest' is gonna be?" she said.

"Oh hell! Ok, ok! Uh…who should be on next episode? Should it be A) Jin Master of the Wind, B) Touya Master of Ice or C) Yusuke Master of Retardation?" Alex asked.

"What!?" Yusuke screamed in rage

"It's a little late now that the audience is gone dude," Kayori said.

"Yeah," Alex sighed hitting Yusuke with the fishing gun in defense.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Yay, another chapter is up, please vote for who you want you guys.


	3. Chapter 3

Psychicfiredemoness: Alright! I own nothing! Peace out ya'll!

**Chapter 3**

"Sorry for the period of reruns everyone!" Scorch apologized to the audience frantically, "What with the writer's strike and everything…"

"You can't use that as an excuse!" Sapphire yelled.

"Why not? All the other shows did," Alex stated.

"Because you didn't know about it until last week!" Kayori screamed.

"…Alright, alright sorry," she sighed.

"What for? It didn't bother us, we got a little vacation," Yusuke grinned.

"Right well, today's new contestant couldn't be chosen due to tie so we'll just have to have both of them come out here! Please welcome Jin and Touya!" Alex declared and the two walked behind their panel.

"Ok people, the first question. Two lumps of coal, a carrot, and a pipe lay on the ground what happened? Hiei?"

"Simple. Someone killed Santa and the Easter bunny," He remarked.

Alex started cracking up at the answer and had to steady herself on the podium to balance her. "Sorry but wrong," she zapped him, "But you deserve 5 points for that answer. Now, does anyone know the real answer? No? Ok, a snowman melted. What was Elvis Presley's favorite amusement park ride?" Silence followed. "Anyone, anyone at all, the answer is the bumper cars. Technically, what is snow considered? Yukina?"

"A mineral," she answered.

"5 points, what is the most common color of houses in America? Jin?" she said as the redhead had been the one to buzz in.

"White," he said.

"Correct 5 points. Nobody won what award in 1972? Kuwabara?"

"The Nobel Peace Prize."

"5 points. What is the date the Declaration of Independence signed? Keiko?"

"July 4th 1776."

"Correct. In the original comics, Superman's dog was named what? Yusuke?"

"Krypto."

"5 points. A scallop has how many eyes? Kurama?"

"35."

"5 points. But what color are they? Hiei?"

"Blue."

"5 points. What is the meaning of …otorhinolaryngologist?" she slowly pronounced it.

"Is that even a word?" Yusuke asked.

"Yes it's a word! If it wasn't a word I wouldn't have it on this show!" she declared shocking him. The Jaganshi buzzed in. "Yes Hiei?"

"An ear, nose, and throat doctor."

"Whoa, how in all of hell did you know that? Never mind, 15 points for that word. What is Zoonoses? Kurama?"

"Diseases humans can get from animals."

Just then some random station worker walked over and handed Alex a index card. She read it quickly.

"Ok, According to this, each of these questions are worth 15 points. So I guess 15 points Kurama. What about Pica? Yusuke?"

"A desire to eat… non-food," he couldn't find the right term.

"15 points. What is a pip? Hiei?"

"What an unborn chick does to break though its eggshell."

"15 points. What is callipygian? Yusuke?"

"Having shapely buttocks," the boy grinned. Alex gave him a dry look and zapped him.

"Correct, you pervert. What about pandiculate? Touya?"

"To yawn."

"Correct. Alright everyone that's all the time we have for today… or tonight's episode. See the network is too cheap to let me have a watch, or give me health insurance or dental or anything like that but that's a different story. The current leader is Hiei, followed by Yusuke, and followed by the random contestants! So see ya next time on Tantei Trivia!" She gave a peace sign to the cameras.

"Uh, they're off," said the camera man.

"Oh," she said her tone drooping, "Well, next time we'll either have Shishi or Suzuka join us. For those at home, vote now."

"Camera's are still off," the man childed and received a glare.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Third chapter, done, hell yeah! Well I know it was short, but I hoped that you all enjoyed it, and or possibly learned something in the process of reading it.


	4. Chapter 4

Psychicfiredemoness: Hi people, this is now the freaking update

Psychicfiredemoness: Alright…I think this was the last chapter of the story. I own nothing.

**Chapter 4**

"Welcome everyone once again! This is the last episode of the season everyone… sorry we couldn't push it through for another episode...but poor funding and all. Today we have Shishi with us!"

"We love you Shishi!" Screamed dozens of the males fangirls as he walked to his panel.

Alex pushed a button on her console to zap the rowdy audience. "Okay first question, what does the average American's reading level? Hiei?" She asked

"Pathetically enough, only the 4th grade," Hiei responded.

"Blame the Confederate States. Correct. 5 points. A typical eggshell takes up what percent of an eggs weight? Shishi?"

"Only 10 percent," He said.

"So close yet so far away," she said feigning sorrow and pressed a blue button on her podium. A dunce hat fell on his head.

"Why didn't he get zapped!?" Yusuke screamed angrily.

"Did you not notice the hundred of fangirls that fill the audience today? I'd like to live thank you. Now, anyone else? Kurama?"

"12" He stated.

"Correct," she clapped a little sarcastically for him, "Who was America's first billionaire? Keiko?"

"Henry Ford."

"Correct. How many years did it take to build the Brooklyn Bridge? Kuwabara?" She readied her hand over the red button.

"14?" He sounded unsure.

"Correct. What percent of drinkers will go on to become alcoholics? Yusuke?"

"10," he answered.

"Correct, although I'm sure the statistics in the last few years have changed, childhood alcoholism and all. Snow is illegal within the boundaries of what Californian city? Yukina?"

"Brawly," she said.

"Correct. The average Mother's Day gift costs how much? Kurama?"

"27."

"Correct. The average jellyfish is 95 what? Shishi?"

"Water," he said trying to tear the hat off his head. It wasn't working.

"Correct. Thomas Edison was afraid of what? Kurama?"

"The dark."

"Yep. According to zoologists, elephants love to eat what? Kurama?"

"Licorice."

"Correct, which can make you wonder, what the hell are they doing in their spare time? How many spikes in the statue of Liberty's crown? Kurama?"

"Seven."

"You're kind of an overachiever aren't you? 5 points. The state song of Florida is? Keiko?"

"Old folks at home."

"5 points. America's favorite color? Kurama?"

"Blue."

"Then? Hiei?"

"Red."

"Then? Yusuke?"

"Green."

"Then? Yukina?"

"White."

"Then? Shishi?"

"Pink."

"Then? Yukina?"

"Purple."

"Then? Kuwabara?'

"Orange."

"All of you are correct. 5 points for each answer. What killed off the dodo bird? Yusuke?"

"Men."

She looked at him dryly before shocking him. "Anyone else? Keiko?"

"Pigs."

"Correct. Well that's all the time we have for the show. The winner of this season is… Well, it seems we have _two_ winners. The two winners are the two demons we all know and most of us love in a sick obsessive stalker way, Hiei and Kurama! Followed by… Yusuke?! Okay well um, then the various contestants. And let us give a very special thanks to our special guests for having joined the show this season. Okay thanks for watching see ya.

An announcer then came on via a loudspeaker system. "And remember this season of Tantei Trivia was brought to you by Fishy Joe's Walrus Juice, ride the walrus! Leaflets puppy chow, made from genuine leaflets and airport pamphlets!" He said.

**End Chapter**

**End Story**

Psychic: Well I hope you all enjoyed this season because it's probably the last season for a while.

Hiei: Why?

Psychic: Cause I think I've run out of questions to ask, that and I've more important things to do with my time.

Hiei: Like what?

Psychic: Sleep, eat, sleep some more, video games, sleep, school, some more sleep, and preparing your ultimate demise.

Hiei: _What?_

Psychic: In a purely status kind of way. Just read Black Dragons and you'll understand. Well bye everyone! Please review.


End file.
